GARY BENCHLEY, ROCK STAR

a novel by PAUL FORD

prison in Iraq, known for the torture that took place there during the Iraq War. (p. 32)

famous indie rock blowhard. (p. 25)

Yes, but no. (p. 24)

musician; real name is Richard D. James. Technofiddling with some big chords. (p. 24)

a font. (p. 37)

a bus that goes through Williamsburg, Brooklyn. (p. 31)

had something to do with the band Sebadoh. (p. 25)

large park in downtown Manhattan; looks out over the waters. (p. 15)

an amazingly good band. I mean, come on. There was no excuse for them to be this good. (p. 27)

diminutive musician. Sea Change was a very good album but people who like the jangle were very disappointed. Now he's back to tricks. The line "put your hands on the wheel; let the golden age begin" is from Sea Change. (p. 11)

well-trafficked street in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. (p. 14)

a method of singing. Literally, "like a canto." Pioneered by Dante. (p. 27)

one of America's number of natural sources for sincere novels written by young women in black leggings. (p. 63)

a slightly cooler Spin. (p. 6)

a medium for those without messages. (p. 33)

noted organizer of charity events. (p. 34)

a fake branding company, based on many, many similar branding companies. Nice people, boring work, lots of self-deception. (p. 23)

a fake branding company, based on many, many similar branding companies. Nice people, boring work, lots of self-deception. (p. 23)

the best of the five boroughs of New York City. (p. 9)

see Cambodia. (p. 42)

see Vietnam. (p. 41)

a German band that was absolutely 1000% ahead of its time when it came to rhythm and arrangements. Good stuff. (p. 24)

Guided By Voices for girls. (p. 6)

it's like a bass! And a guitar! A true music-nerds instrument, impossible to play. (p. 27)

a man in a half-chicken, half-penguin costume who stages events with Chunk in New York City. (p. 44)

legendary film being made by the Flaming Lips about Christmas on Mars. (p. 16)

artist known for his blobs and his wheelchairs. (p. 37)

a man in a half-chicken, half-skunk costume who stages events with Chengwin in New York City. (p. 44)

a more rocking version of Sigur Ros. This is not saying much. (p. 22)

very pretty actress. (p. 18)

singer. Wears glasses. (p. 25)

lead singer of the Flaming Lips. (p. 16)

a community classified-ads website that also tends to show the absolute worst of humanity in its personal ads. (p. 23)

a band worse than Train. (p. 49)

lady from the Breeders. (p. 52)

pop music for people who sneer at pop music, except they don't really anymore now that it's cool to like pop music. Transatlanticism was the mope-hit of 2004. It's pretty good, actually. (p. 3)

a simpler Simple Minds. (p. 6)

best known by his real name, Robert Zimmerman, and for being friends with beat poets. (p. 4)

a neighborhood in New York city and one of the most densely populated places in New York City. Formerly dangerous, it went through a process of hipster gentrification, and is now more of a tourist destination than a place where any self-respecting person would choose to live. Replaced, temporarily, by Williamsburg, although the new Williamsburg appears to be Bed-Stuy. (p. 1)

artist, or rather, he will be an artist when he learns to use more than one color at a time. (p. 37)

this band wrote the best songs about armored armadilloes ever. (p. 24)

this is not a real temp firm, but if it was, it would suck like all of the other temp firms. (p. 3)

a train that runs from Brooklyn to Queens through Manhattan. The best possible train. (p. 36)

Wall Street. Lots of suits and big buildings. (p. 9)

just a very, very fine band, with Wayne Coyne on vocals and puppets, Steven Drozd as multi-instrumentalist, and Michael Ivins on bass. Now they are very famous. (p. 5)

the crappies street in Manhattan. Not sure why, it just is. (p. 26)

a font. (p. 37)

a bar in Williamsburg, Brooklyn; one of the central spots for all manner of hipster tomfoolery. Throw a rock inside and you'll hit a documentary filmmaker. (p. 21)

the official rock band of Sleepytime tea! (p. 25)

a website about publishing in New York City. It used to be funny despite this. (p. 34)

a funny movie about New York, and ghosts. (p. 23)

a font. (p. 38)

a neighborhood in Brooklyn known for the stinky eponymous canal. (p. 33)

an evil spirit in the film Ghostbusters. (p. 23)

a video game in which you drive a virtual car around in circles forever, for fun. (p. 2)

the sort of band that, when someone starts talking about them, you might as well take a nap because they'll be droning on for hours. Not the band, the fan. The band is pretty good if you stick to the hits. (p. 5)

a mall for guitar nerds. (p. 26)

the real name of Divine. (p. 3)

musician who likes Robert DeNiro. (p. 43)

a young person spotted in wealthy cities the world 'round who, by careful attention to personal grooming and loud proclamation of music choices, is able to feel superior to everyone else. Often seen making documentary films. (p. 2)

Information Technology at the New York State Department of Motor Vehicles as soon as possible. (p. 72)

a band with a man with a beard. (p. 3)

a programming language. (p. 30)

where the financial district goes for cheaper rent. (p. 9)

sad band, often covered, prone to substance abuse; became New Order after the lead singer Ian Curtis committed suicide. (p. 20)

television show in which people build stuff out of junk. (p. 44)

a rocker who likes to party while ROCKING!!!! (p. 56)

a mopey Coldplayish band that lacks a guitarist and, probably, much staying power. Catchy, though. (p. 48)

a very big synthesizer. (p. 27)

train that is most notable for going from Manhattan to Williamsburg, Brooklyn, chock full o'hipsters. (p. 13)

a kid's movie that starred David Bowie's crotch. (p. 18)

bass player for the band Rush. Prone to unlistenable bass trickery. Run from his fans. (p. 16)

not a word. (p. 41)

an LA band with a slightly crazy guy as the singer, big in the 1960s. Kind of a California version of the Velvet Underground. (p. 24)

a make-out band for people who need bass in order to keep the rhythm. (p. 53)

the drummer for the White Stripes, whose bad drumming is a sort of easy indie-rock sneer-point. (p. 31)

a venue in downtown Manhattan that has a great sound system and really annoying door staff. (p. 31)

a man who likes to look good but avoids sodomy. (p. 24)

a part of Manhattan with all of the really big buildings that isn't Wall Street. (p. 4)

noted husband of Marilyn Monroe; author of plays that you must read in high school. (p. 5)

looking for books where an old lady's "sex" is described as smelling like cheese? I got your man. Loved humping. (p. 5)

essential early indie band, if you're edging on 40. (p. 25)

a very expensive place to look at art. (p. 37)

Windham Hill with a metronome. (p. 13)

a great band best known for their swirling guitar melodies--if it's My Bloody Valentine, it's swirling--and for a stunning lack of productivity. (p. 22)

band. If Bob Dylan was very small, lived in the south, and all of his friends were in marching band, you'd have Neutral Milk Hotel. (p. 5)

a frequently covered band that discovered early that relying on drum machines and synthesizers can help you cover up the symptoms of withdrawal. (p. 56)

proprietor of many a blog; every article about him mentions his big head, which isn't that big compared to most other heads. Journalists are lazy. (p. 35)

band best known for having Courtney Love's husband as its dead frontman. (p. 5)

a pretty version of James Taylor. (p. 22)

the greatest horry of pretty college girls, but they usually get over it and start shaving their legs again. (p. 52)

a red effects processor for guitarists; ownership is required. (p. 26)

star of Friends television program with a problematic personal life. (p. 10)

a high-school angst band. (p. 24)

extremely pretentious music review website. (p. 16)

a band that had its day, but is now having its day again. (p. 24)

a band with pep. (p. 22)

lead singer for Guided By Voices. (p. 12)

a very happy band, so happy that it looks kind of like a cult. Lots of French horn, and a cute flute-player, though. (p. 20)

audio editing software, used in many studios and on too many laptops. (p. 25)

rock that aims higher, and usually falls. (p. 45)

Queens is Albany west of the Hudson. People live there, hundreds of thousands of them, and some have even developed a sort of Stockholm Syndrome about it, and will proclaim that Queens is a good place to live. No. (p. 2)

Can + Aphex Twin + sadness, terrible sadness. Can rock when required, though. (p. 25)

a nice old man married to Laurie Anderson. Used to be in some band. Guitar nerd. (p. 6)

a very smart dead lunatic who had all manner of theories about human "energy" that appeal to yoga-types. Wilhelm Reich fans are even more boring than Guided By Voices fans. (p. 20)

Ricola cough drops had these commercials with a big horn. Oh, forget it. (p. 27)

Pete Townsend smashing his guitar; Bjöork dressed as a bumblebee; Wayne Coyne in a giant plastic bubble being carried through the crowd; and the entirety of the Long Winters song "Scared Straight." (p. 1)

a font. (p. 38)

one of those bands like Pavement. You know what I mean. (p. 25)

Iceland's natural insomnia remedy (also a band). (p. 55)

an essential part of synthesis. Sounds like this: squeeee. Sometimes sounds like this: booooop. (p. 27)

Paul Ford. (p. 36)

a band that used to be great, then was not great at all, and now is no more. (p. 27)

a band that people seem to like but they haven't put out enough music to really figure out if they're good or not yet. (p. 24)

another one of those bands like the Wrens, basically. (p. 25)

one of those weird 60s bands that existed purely to be sampled twenty-five years later. (p. 48)

satirical weekly newspaper. (p. 25)

best Flaming Lips album ever. (p. 16)

guitar hero and divorcee. (p. 27)

a device that allows people who like TV to feel that they are actually in control of their TV-watching. (p. 23)

a club in Downtown Manhattan that features kind-of-difficult music. (p. 47)

a band. Writes songs. Good name-drop reference among rock nerds. (p. 10)

a band that sucks. Lead singer compares himself to "the best soy latte you ever had." No excuse. (p. 14)

the Burning Man of tattoos. (p. 44)

a band. (p. 10)

where Woody Allen lives and loves his former stepdaughter. (p. 9)

a small rock club in Albany. (p. 5)

dead singer. (p. 25)

a hot destination for people searching for wisdom of the east but who don't want the over-exposed wisdom of India or China. They love Americans. (p. 41)

a mystical device that guitarists in particularly believe will make them suck less. (p. 6)

a writer who now poses as an Amsterdam-based Eurotrash pop-song writer. Kind of funny. (p. 22)

the official explanation for the exposure of Janet Jackson's nipple during a Superbowl halftime show. Calling it that shows that corporate TV hacks are even stupider than people who get upset at the sight of a breast. (p. 55)

member of Galaxie 500. (p. 26)

a band that sounds like their name. (p. 27)

the football team of the University of Michigan, and the first priority of Michigan fans everywhere. (p. 42)

musical equipment manufacturer. (p. 26)

some band. (p. 22)

No. (p. 24)

a band with a few good songs and a rabid following of people who wear sweaters. (p. 36)

a froglike Star Wars puppet that spouts inanities; by having him spout them backwards, the screenwriters obviously hoped Yoda's utterances would be profound. They weren't. (p. 21)

an ancient Indian method of making Westerners money. (p. 20)

Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, a good Flaming Lips album. (p. 16)